We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
