I skipped work to stalk him.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Randomize
