Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
