I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
