For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
