but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
