i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize