I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
