mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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