I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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