He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
