we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
