You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
