She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
