I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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