We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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