I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize