What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
