So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
