One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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