I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
