The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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