I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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