I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
