If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
