So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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