What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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