if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
no you cant smoke seaweed
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
