whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
