Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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