You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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