google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
