hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
