So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
