I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I love you. Go after that dick
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
