3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
