id be glad to
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
