You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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