I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
