There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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