And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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