It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
