i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
