i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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