Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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