Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
