Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
