I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
