Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
