True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
