Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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