I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
