I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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