He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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