When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Couch. On fire.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
