You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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